Your September Horoscopes: Back to School Edition

Whether you're in class IRL or online, check out your September horoscope to find out which class you’re acing this year.

*RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNG* School is back in session! No matter if you’re attending class online or IRL, we know all of our KT’s are going to do their absolute best in all their classes this year. But there’s one special subject that you’ll kick the most butt in. We’ve consulted the stars and found out where you’ll be making the grade this year. Read on below! 

ARIES: March 21 - April 19

Team Ram, it might be a little hard to focus in class (especially if it’s online) because of all that extra energy. In clinical terms? You have ants in your pants. Sitting still is not your forte, so you know you’re about to CRUSH it in PE class! You’ll be lapping everyone this term! Or, if PE is via Zoom… you’ll be… hmm…. Jumping Jacking alone in your room? That works too. 


TAURUS: April 20 - May 20

The first Earth sign in the zodiac, you love all things green (naturally). This includes the great outdoors! You’re also a homebody, so what better subject to study than Geography, which is all about our home planet Earth. And no one deserves more love right now than Earth! Ain’t no river deep enough and ain’t no mountain high enough that will stop you from getting that A+. 


GEMINI: May 21 - June 20 

You’re ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication- which means you like to talk talk talk, and you do it well. Even in a pandemic, you found ways to keep in touch digitally with your nearest and dearest. You’re also super cool under pressure and really convincing, so you’ll have no trouble arguing your way to a A+ in Speech and Debate class. 


CANCER: June 21 - July 22

Class can be chaos sometimes, and that takes a lot out of you little crabs! Especially, during this super weird time. You may have a tough exterior, but your insides are as mushy as they come. Creative Writing is where you’ll kick butt at this year. A solo activity that you can do silently that only relies on your thoughts, feelings and imagination?? Puhlease, you do that for fun... even when it’s not being graded! 


LEO: July 23 - August 22

Hi bb, not to give into stereotypes but… you’re obviously gunning for the spotlight in Drama this year. And rightfully so! You deserve top billing- and it doesn’t matter if you’re Elphaba or an understudy for one of the flying monkeys. Remember this, even if there’s no school play this year: Shine bright, shine far, don't be shy, be a star! 


VIRGO: August 23 - September 22

Listen, I’m not here to explain what Economics is. Of course I’ve never taken the class, I write horoscopes duh. But you my beautiful brained Virgos, you will thrive. Numbers come easy to you (jealous!) and you’ve never shied away from spending money. I’m not great at math, but I’m pretty sure that = an A+ in Economics. 


LIBRA: September 23 - October 22

The most balanced sign in the universe, you’re represented by a set of scales. Harmony and Justice are your specialty, so you’ll have no problem laying down the law in… Law class. Queen Alexandria Ocasio Cortez is a Libra, which really tracks! If anyone is going to make change, (and we sure do need it!), it’s going to be a Libra.


SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 

Scorpios love to blaze a trail wherever they go, and one trail that needs BLAZING is Science. Use your analytical skills, resourcefulness and stubbornness to kick butt in Chem, Bio or Physics and you’ll be on your way to saving the world. #ClimateChangeisReal #GirlsinSTEM


SAGITTARIUS: November 22 - December 21

While the rest of your Fire sign pals are more comfy being in front of the camera, you love being behind it. You’re creative, independent and love to explore, which means you have the best eye for Photography Class. Click click, get snapping! 


CAPRICORN: December 22 - January 19

You are ambitious, disciplined and love rules. The thrill you get from solving a problem is real, so it totally adds up that Math is your thing. As Cady Heron once said “I like math. Because it’s the same in every country”. Absolutely beautiful, stunning and inspiring. 


AQUARIUS: January 20 - February 18

You all have a full 150 pack of Prismacolors, and would never be caught dead with some silly old Crayolas. Whether it’s sketching or painting or sculpture, you are the queen of Art class. Leonardo Davinci is literally shaking, Rembrandt wishes he was never born and Van Gogh’s Starry Night could neeeeeeeeever.


PISCES: February 19 - March 20

Pisces are emotional, creative and super introspective, which means you’re naturally musically inclined. This year, you’ll be marching along to an A+ in Music class. Hey! Band is nothing to laugh about. So get tooting on that horn and banging on that drum. Or, if you’re learning from home this year, it’s time to start singing in the shower!


No matter your sign, it's important to be prepared for class. Especially when you're on your period. Check out Super 'Oh-No' Proof Underwear and get ready to crush the 2020 school year!

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